Camel Cricket Miracle Fund

I'm currently raising money for prosthetic legs for disabled Camel Crickets who have lost limbs in battle with fellow crickets and predators or in accidental encounters with humans and dogs, and who were born with missing limbs. If you would like to make a donation, please call (555)555-2983. (If you actually contact me trying to make a donation, you need to find a dictionary and look up "joke.")

Now, here are a few typical cases:

This guy is going through an identity crisis because, having only 4 legs, he's technically not an insect anymore. But since he has an exoskeleton, he doesn't belong to the 4-legged vertebrates either. Moreover, he can't do what crickets do best: jump. And as he's not accustomed to crawling, he can only move about awkwardly. The other crickets laugh at him. Donate now and save this cricket from further humiliation!

While somewhat better off than the cricket above, this one is nevertheless unable to move in usual cricket fashion. Think how hard it will be for her to look after her young with only 1 hind leg. The poor little things will end up on their own in the garden, spending their formative days looking for food to bring to their disabled mother. But with your donation, given out of kindness, you can prevent this from happening.

Likewise, this cricket will also experience hardship in providing for her family. Contrary to the other two I showed you, she's missing one of her front legs.

Remember, you have the power to save these crickets. Don't hesitate or it may be too late.

**Note: By no means do I wish to make fun of real charity drives. However, I take offense at having my feelings manipulated by them. I want facts, not pathos.